Peregrine

by Holden Days

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1.
With You 02:29
All of my dreams Begin and end with you All of the ways Your face comes into view All of our days Are running ever pale All of the trees Have grown too great to scale You were the one to bring me near I was the one to come to you. I'll be the one to keep you here But I'll be the one to go with you
2.
I was in reverie before And waking from my daydream Leaves me cold How can I fall asleep again When all my nights are tamed Out of the warmth you had for me So many silent hours I've kept inside An arboreal oddity And leaves to hide Forested trauma spurs a favor of regret So I wait for you to be Out of your shell and into mine I was in love with you before you met my eyes A painting of that daydream brings me close How would it shape your thoughts, my dear? I'd hope you'd want to be Out of your head and into mine
3.
Sidera 02:50
4.
When I Wait 03:33
I will resign later than last night Until all my mornings are afternoons Be still at least ‘til the sun reaches the hill And then all that lingers are missed connections when i wake you stay behind, pins and needles numb the light when i wait you always follow then i'll run from you i'm stuck in my rut, it's just like my luck to be scared of every little new thing hung up on ties cut, tell me why i'm struck by lost cause defenses and endless questions when i walk across your page where i watch your pictures age when i wait for scenes to change then i'll walk through you
5.
Give 02:28
Nothing phases me now "Come on, give me a change of heart, I'm on your side" You don't ask why we felt so sure of ourselves "Things are different now" Watch me breaking my vows again I've lost my mind, You won't ask why I almost gave everything I wasn't alone "You called me your home" I stayed on my own "What more could I do"
6.
Count On Me 06:03
Count on me to be there when you're not But If you see that I am where I'm not supposed to be Then count on me I've already seen you in your warmth In glenns adorning, havens of a hillside, we were there Illumined fair Your face was bright We fit in perfect shapes sometimes And spilling over when I wake When I prod, I pine for something fake But in the dust of rest, I find you lying on my back A vision lost For hope that cost me all my love Resigned in panthered moon My weakness lies inside a memory But can I know that I can feel without it Words I never found, they're Scattered throughout Thoughts I lost I wanted to see everything In peripheral grace I could have been so far ahead In the nights I retrace If I could live there Would you still be there to Count on me to Be there in your thoughts I can only find a piece of what I'm looking for In every hour I spend awake I knew that I'd fall in too deep From the warmth of your face Whenever I close my eyes All the peace is replaced And all that I wanted was ever to know that you'd count on me to be the one you hold
7.
Apart 04:33
Fall into me and my face of remorse Another minute gone, another mile Drink jasmine tea and your words cover me The sea, it clings to you-- I never could I want to give all my time and see you there With your arms bare and blooming like the waves And maybe then I could know just who you are. Silhouettes weaving, I'm longing for joy I never know where I belong Fabled and fleeing the life that I loved Because I want to know something more My irony has depleted my shame And I can't seem to tie myself again I’ve never known life apart from seeking love Oh tell me have I gone and shut myself off From a blessing that I will always crave Or will the beauty just find me on its own And I sit there finally unknown So find me where I lovely found love first On the other side of a picture frame And maybe then you could know just who I am
8.
Same 02:34
One year late To the deaths in the family name When we changed Your address on the postage stamps The difference lost In a difference between our loss Cause we're the same as before Every time You fly in I can feel you arrive Always on the mind Yet we hide and we seek ‘til we die And the difference wanes In a difference between our gains Cause we're the same as before you go I'm a child in cherry groves All the lower fruits Running bare while you hang above
9.
Night or Day 05:23
Baby boy, in your world of unfolded arms, Where will you find anything to keep your eyes afloat and straight on ‘til morning Journals marked with the secrets still kept in mind; objects of love and the want for someone understanding Of what you need to give And night is heavier than the day But I won't wither in the way I withdraw to weep But is it weak or is it frail to want you here to no avail Bluelit fields of my youth are what keep me sane Occupied with golden-savoured hours that I reclaim in wordless thoughts Worlds like these are the places meant to be known only by me and perhaps someone who wants to know me, but why is that my everything And my nights are heavier than my days But I won’t wither in the way I withdraw to weep But is it weak or is it frail to want you here to no avail and is it weak or is it frail to want to hear familiar melodies If I am grown and far above The lanterns of a pale love Then tell me now what is that song You sang for me when we were young
10.
Search me for an answered prayer Be my friend or be my nightmare But everyone learns to be unknown for a time after time A light at your window left on Like a glance from afar When it comes I'll know it well Breathing soft and silently there But all I can give you are my words and my time after time I've closed all my windows And wait for a knock on my door All of these songs of love are repeating every night Even if I am a nobody to the sum of the world You could trace my name Sell the surprise of my harmony I'll buy in every time If that's what makes life sweet She had the eyes of an ocean's tide I was drawn like a line Peering through the vine Nothing inside would resign the pull It's everything that I knew Now tell me who are you?

about

This is my fifth album, and I am immensely proud of who I have become through working on these songs, and proving to myself that I really can be dedicated to something so deeply, to the point of challenging myself to deliver the best collection of music I could possibly muster up even after sometimes feeling exhausted from four prior albums. The ways that I’ve developed personally and creatively through the time spent working on these songs have brought me immeasurable joy and a sense of great accomplishment. Here is “Peregrine” by Holden Days.

Working mostly alone, there were many times when I felt aimless in my direction, but it's through that very peregrination that I began to feel comfortable and like these songs really meant something that my past works were always leading up to. Some of these songs have their first inklings dating back to 2016 and 2017 when I was working on my previous albums, Little Bloom, and the Sylvan Lands Vols. I & II, among countless other projects and collaborations. A lot of this was even in early stages of recording during the sessions for Little Bloom, although the two products sound nothing alike. Through tiptoeing my way through the production of all those other works, I slowly compiled my best musical ideas and articulations and put them into these songs.

I'd be lying if I said I did this completely alone though. My friends who have stuck around through all the iterations of these songs and who affirmed me and steered me right are those I will always cherish.
Major thanks to Luke Culbertson and Ben Reaves for contributing some vital components to these songs. This album wouldn't be what it is without them.

• • • • • • • • • •

Every time I release something new, there are so many other songs I'm working on that I feel more proud of. It's always "Sure, this album's good, but just wait for the NEXT thing." It's always about the next thing, and that's put me in a dismissive mood around the time of releasing, because I figure "finally I'm done with this album."

But this time around, I really feel that this is my most matured work yet, and it is also something that arises to challenge my sensibilities moving forward. I hope anyone who listens can feel safe in their aimlessnesses and unsureities, or will be mystified even in the comforts that these arrangements hope to reflect.

I wish I could describe what you'll hear in these songs more fully (as if anyone's telling me to convince them) but I think the best assessment anyone could give themselves is just to actually listen to it rather than keep reading all this. Thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoy it.

-Timothy Jude Andrews

credits

released June 18, 2021

Recorded, Produced, Arranged, and Mixed by Timothy Jude Andrews
with additional recording on tracks 4, 6, 7, and 9 by William Luke Culbertson, and on track 7 by Benjamin Kelly Reaves.

Mixed by Timothy Jude Andrews
Mastered by Benjamin Reaves at Constellation Sound
Album Artwork by Amy Friend (@amyquerin on instagram)

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